A few weeks ago I had come across a picture on my News Feed on Facebook. I wish I had saved it because now I can only vaguely remember it. What I do remember was that it held commentary about how the Church treats people. Specifically around the subject of homosexuality. Largely it had the notion attached that the Church is an organization that hates people and seeks to turn them all rich WASPs (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants). All people have to look the same way, behave the same way, and have things that look a certain way. The post then followed up with this quote from the Dali Lama, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” Which I must admit is a great sentiment, but it still got me upset!
So I went to the dictionary. Merriam-Websters dictionary defines kindness as “the quality or state of being kind: a kind act”. Thanks Websters, that helped a lot. So I looked up “kind” which is defined as “having or showing a gentle nature and a desire to help others : wanting and liking to do good things and to bring happiness to others”. The way that it would seem is that kindness (when it is the motivation) is a self motivation to do good for others for their sake and, whether intentional or not, to make us look good.
We are called to be kind to one another, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV). “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23, NASB). “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;” (Colossians 3:12, NASB). Clearly we should be kind to each other, and those that we come into contact with. But why, if there are so many commands about kindness, can the Church be seen as an unkind institution.
The answer my friends is love. This is the principle that the Church has been founded on. God loved us, so He sent His Son. Jesus loved us, so he died on a Cross. He commands us to love everyone, including our enemies. The Bible even tells us that God is love! (1 John 4:8). So why is the principle of love taken to be an unkind act?
Again, I went to Webster. Love, once you get away from romance and sex, is defined as “unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another”. When you look out for the welfare of others, things can be taken poorly. Now lesson has taught me this greater than being a father. When your child wants to chew on electrical cords, or climb on something unstable, or even play in the street, you know that the situation is dangerous and something will happen to your child if you don’t fix it. So what happens when you take away the cord, pull them off the structure, or pull them out of the road? They cry. They whine. They yell. They get upset. So no wonder the Church seems unkind. We tell people their wrong, so they cry. They whine. They yell. They get upset. Why? Because we told them that what they are doing is unwise.
If you want to build you beliefs around kindness, go ahead. My God is love and He cares deeply for me. He came and took a terrible punishment so I don’t have to. I’ll take a god who loves me over a god who does kind acts for me any day. Yes, love can be kind. It’s important for love to perform acts of kindness. But kindness cannot be the center of our beliefs. Kindness alone is selfish, while love is selfless.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, endures all things.” –1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB